Crying isn't a solution. Smilling sure is...

Some people develop a strange inferiority complex which compels them to be jealous of anything and everything that comes across. They forget all good they have and start envying the limited goodness in others.

They sure as hell , cause harm to others but a higher harm is caused their ownself. In constantly objecting good in others they hamper their individuality and start running behind what others have. Along with spoiling the relation they ruin the feelings too by bringing in an element of pretention. They smile at whatever is shown to them and on the insides keep killing themselves with negative thoughts of being looked less then the other.

None is lesser then anyone. God creates no garbage , everyone has their own beauty. But if you can't be happy with your own life, you will just sadden it more by adjoining it with someone else's life. First love yourself, because unless you don't you admire yourself, you can't love someone else.

Disliking somethings in oneself is good that calls for betterment but hating everything in oneself is nothing but beginning step to self pity. The burden of which is too huge and follows throughout your life . Once you start reducing your worth in your eyes you start having illusionary evil thoughts for that other person in your mind. With a stage like this you might feel you are hiding your emotions well, but barely you realise. Emotions are like flow of water, they anyhow find its way to the sea. And when they get merged they loose their existence and real identity. They get defined by what others want to take them as.

In your such self devastation mechanism other person earns jealousy whereas you on the other hand only accomplish in sympathy . Mind it , sympathy doesn't work whole your life. Better sooner then never , stop feeling small about yourself . Live life king size . None wants to know what potholes you have in life. Constant complaining will just steal away well wishers of you. May be when you start celebrating even your failures , your life would turn out in a memorable party. The most amazing people you’ll ever meet are the ones who had life rip their guts out , but can still find a way to laugh.

Family - Encompassing life's journey...

Out of the many things that make us Indians very unique and different from the people of the rest of the world, family ties or bonds is right up there. Nowhere in the world (except perhaps some other neighbouring countries in the sub-continent) would this value be found so starkly different than in our place and among our people. Our concept of family is so vast and all-encompassing that what is generally nuclear for the rest of the world could look like an entire atomic structure of Uranium or Plutonium for us !

Even though we too are becoming more and more nuclear now, and breaking away from the traditions of joint family, the field and more so the influence of the extended family members run large among us that it is almost impossible for us to consider ourselves “out of our family” any time. And come any occasion or a festival, they all are there back again together. Marriages are often between families rather than between two individuals. Not only blood is thicker than water in most cases, even skin becomes thicker than leather, to weather many trials and tribulations, thanks to that one odd Bua here or an Uncle there or a few cousins and what have you! The problem gets compounded with the arrival of a bride into the system. Along with the added dimensions of her own kith and kin, she needs to now cope with the new “paltan” of her husband’s family and the equations have to be properly established, not to mention the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law equation that occupies the centre stage of it all. Most often the son (or the husband) is caught in between totally clueless among these dynamics for not “getting it” at all from anyone’s perspective, let alone his own. It is sometimes very funny to see that guys who take multi-million dollar decisions for their companies where they work, can’t take simple decisions on where to go for a vacation on Diwali or which all houses should be visited when you go to some place, without the “necessary blessings” from those who pull the strings. At times even such things as which dress to wear!

It is during such crisis, a job out of India comes as a big welcome relief for the newly-weds or even the much married! But then only for a brief while until we get to know the other side of the story across the seas, where the parents (irrespective of whether they are still together as spouses) maybe even living in the same town as their kids, but hardly spending any time with them. Old age people take recourse to showing affection to pets and live alone in a big house with just a dog to give company. In the movie “What a girl wants”, when Daphne (the American girl) comes to meet her British father in London and when she tries to hug her grandmother, the old lady says – “No hugging dear. I’m British. We show affection to dogs and horses only.” As we saw in the case of the Bengali couple who were arrested in Norway by the Child Police, even force feeding or sleeping with children in the same bed could land you in trouble in many places. So there is a cold distance or what they term as “courteous detachment”, that gets built in relationships there which could be quite suffocating for many Indians. The problem gets worse when one of the spouses die at an old age and the other has to live the rest of the life all alone. That is when we realise the value of our family ties back home here. The joy of seeing our people when we come home for every vacation rather than going to Hawai or Fontainebleau, notwithstanding the heat, humidity, traffic, cows and cow dung back home! Despite all the "other troubles" that we face, it is the sheer pleasure and warmth of meeting our own and the support system they provide specially in the times of difficulties and miseries, that we miss elsewhere in the world. There is an untold sense of security we get being amongst our own family members that becomes so much a part of our identity as much as a value.

We learn many things in that process - the art of adjusting, the skills of negotiating, the joy of sharing, the power of networking, the value of respecting, the support while suffering, and the strength in enduring. We realise how important inter-dependence is as opposed to parasitical dependency which is what made us look out for independence. If only the elderly too realise this and keep the right distance and give a longer rope to the young, the expectational burden that they put would not weaken the younger ones' shoulders. Many a times, the elders in the family simply forget that there is a fine line between what is intervention, which is required and what is interference, which is not required and over step that line. It is in maintaining that "safe distance" yet keeping the warmth of the relationships the balance would be struck.

Yet it is pathetic to see how we are losing our grips on this beautiful value and moving farther away from our dear and near ones many times because of a silly ego issue that is not worth a dime. Often a marriage against a parental wish, or a career choice or sometimes as silly as being nice to someone a particular family member hates, becomes good enough reason to keep us apart. Aged single parents move helplessly between one house to the other, as part of "sharing the burden" and sometimes get offloaded into some "home" where there are other such destitute elders. Worse, they are simply dropped off in Kumbh mela in Allahabad or Haridwar or Kasi. My mother used to say,"one mother can take care of seven children, but seven children together cannot take care of an old mother!"

This is heart rending. Specially for those who have lost their parents or are far away from them and cherish to be with their dear and near. Ask those who are living abroad what happens to them during festival times when they miss their own people, and they will tell us how gut wrenching it could be. While it is good to go nuclear and keep the "safe distance" and be independent, it is also equally important to recognise the uniqueness in these values that make us as true Indians and proud ones at that. Let us not lose them, and in the process lose ourselves. Bonds are meant to strengthen us, and not to get us "bound". That is the true meaning of Raksha bandhan. The bond of security. The bond of love. The bond that makes us whom we are.

You deserve better...

No matter how bad it hurts or how bad you feel, it's time to stop thinking about that person who played with your feelings, who took your love for granted, who never appreciated your care, who wasn't contented with what you could give him or her. 

You can't stay at that hurtful place anymore. You can't keep shedding tears over someone who doesn't deserve the love you gave. You can't keep feeling sorry for yourself and thinking if only you did more. You can't make them want the relationship because if they wanted they wouldn't have let go of you. You deserve better now. You deserve someone who appreciates all the good qualities that you offer. You deserve someone who won’t play with your delicate heart, you deserve someone who won’t be all about knowing your body, you deserve someone who will be serious with you and who will be with the fear of hurting you & losing you. 

Just like a cut on your hand will take time to heal, your broken heart needs time to heal as well. Many people before you, who thought they couldn't make it, have survived and made it. Just like they made it, you will make it too. Be strong and try to move on now. That’s not the end of your life. 

You will get over that pain you’re having right now and one day you’ll be happy again.

Being single...

Are you single? Are you tired and fed up of being alone? Do you feel lonely that your dear ones leave you all alone even though you could do anything to make her smile? Being single is not a bad thing; it's just a hard thing to go through and can play with your emotions and self confidence. But life is not all about a single relationship.

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

There are some important truths about being single. Being single gives you time to be by yourself, with yourself (finally some YOU time). The time to reconnect with yourself, a time where you can talk to yourself and debate all the questions that are bouncing in your head.

If you don’t let go of the past, you will never appreciate the present. You will always cherish those chweet memories with your dear ones, but you need to stop clinging to them to live for today and plan for tomorrow. Change can sometimes be good. Your past may be so beautiful to cherish but it is not much helpful to cry over the same thing again and again. You will have to accept your past and turn the pages of your life story to make it a happy one in the present.

Being single does not have to mean being afraid to love. Your heart may have been bashed, bruised and broken. But you don’t want to feel traumatized, as you may love again. Hopefully the next someone will treasure and treat your heart with love and respect. Someone, who will hold your head and look into eyes to see if you are really fine. Even if you’re single, you still have so much to appreciate. Being single is not the end of the world. There are other problems that are more depressing than being single—hunger and homelessness, for instance.

You’re not alone when you’re single; you still have family and good friends. If you are feeling lonely, talk to your family and hang out with your friends. Sitting on your own, in a darken room with the curtains closed will do nothing for your confidence and will make you feel more pessimistic. Get out there and socialize with friends and take your mind off being single!

Don't go searching. Some say that you don't find love, love finds you. What this old saying means is love isn't something you buy, it's something that is earned and discovered. We can't go in search of love as it won't last long if we do. It has to happen by its own. It must hit us, spellbind us, and turn life topsy turvy! It has to be with us always. That's true love. It will happen to you.

Actually you don't choose your love, it will walk through your door someday and make you realize the reason why god made you wait so many days with loneliness and tears. Be Happy and of course Keep Smiling :)

YES or a NO...

Right from your very young days, you are taught to say Yes to most of the things. Say Yes to religion, say Yes to the concept of existence of God, say Yes to what your parents think is right for you, listen to Obama when he says 'Yes we can' and some people even ask you to read that Shiv Khera's piece of shit called 'You can win' and think that it will change your life.

That little Johnny whose rhymes we sang, couldn't he have said 'NO' ?. Why couldn't it be Johnny Johnny 'No Papa' and the rhyme would have just ended there and Johnny wouldn't have had to answer two more questions and then open his mouth like an idiot and we wouldn't have had to recite that at all :)

Well, I don't know what role the upbrining plays specially in defining when a person needs to say 'NO'.

1. In the office, you get a mail at 6:30PM by your Boss. 'Can you please send this out in the next 2 hours, it's really really urgent.' Your office hours are from 9 to 6, you are already half an hour late, but most of us still reply to that mail, saying 'YES, it will be done, will send out asap'
2. Your wife tells you not to socialize with your friends who she thinks are creepy, the ones that you have grown up with and instead of taking a stand, you start avoiding them? Why can't you say 'No, they are my friends and I don't care how creepy they are'
3. Your parents tell you to take computer Science engineering when you are interested in may be an alternate career option, but you listen to them, why don't you say 'NO, I will pursue what I want, may be I will end up in shit, but I think I will be happier'

The main reason of saying 'Yes' is this inherent desperate need that is instilled in most human beings to 'PLEASE OTHERS'. You want others to think you are good, you want others to praise you, look up to you and all that. As they say, 'Duniya ka sabse bada rog, mere baare me kya kahenge log'. It's also the comfort factor that you get when you are a part of the majority and do what most people do. We also have the fear of the unknown, or why would more than half the honeymoons in India end up having the same 'Kulu Manali' destination and not Sarkhundi Pass?

It's not easy to do what you want, you might have to say NO to so many things, you have to say NO to comfort, NO to earning more money in the short run, say NO to routines, say 'NO' to being around with your loved ones, may be, say 'NO' to a better life that most people think and say they have. It might take ages to reach your GOAL, but through the journey you would have said YES to some magnificent things, 'YES' to travel. 'YES' to change, 'YES' to your ambitions and goals and through all this 'YES' to LIFE and that's the most important YES you have to say, EVER.

What should women do when the basic premise is flawed.

A basic premise is how you assume the world works, without even thinking about it. In India, one would assume that irrespective of what women wear, men should behave themselves. Yes, the educated world probably will and ideally should, but you will still find some idiots there who start grinding their asses in pubs when they are drunk. That said and done, most educated people will try and BEHAVE THEMSELVES.

The reason I am writing this article, which I can tell will have a controversial 'take away' is my recent observations. Two things.

1. A school / college girl probably 15 years of age silently walking on the footpath in a metropolitan city(deliberately not naming) wearing school uniform, one could probably say that the skirt she was wearing was more like a mini-skirt. An auto driver stops near her, grabs her ass and disappears

2. A girl walking alone in another metropolitan city(deliberately not naming) wearing a black revealing dress, looks partly stoned with a cigarette in one hand and 3 men walking behind her, just grab whatever they could and run away.

I have realized that we live in a country where the mindset of most people is fucked up. Thanks to the chauvinistic upbringing, lack of education and the big part played by media.

What do you expect kids to understand from songs like 'I want fakht you' and then women wearing revealing dresses and singing 'Mere tan ki pyaas Bujhado' in movies? An un-monitored child will probably think that a woman dressed in mini skirts etc is probably asking for trouble. Add to that the huge vocabulary of abuses that we hear around us doesn't help in gaining any kind of maturity.

I have seen so many, so fucking many people in lifts and crowded areas, even educated I am sure, trying to elbow women's boobs /accidentally touch them and grind their asses against women. Fuck upbringing for God's sake, these are all well placed in their lives with good jobs and some even married.

Coming back to the basic premise, we don't live in a world where we can avoid violence if we close our eyes. Probably the smarter thing to do would be to adhere to the conclusion that revealing clothes can provoke men. I know this doesn't make sense to all the educated women living around educated men. I am talking about the broader sect filled with horny people with absolutely no values. 

It might just be something that women someday would consider living in a country like this with the kind of people we are surrounded by and the media that adds masala to it.

Bachelor days...

"It's a funny thing that when man has nothing to worry about, he goes off and gets married", said Robert Frost. Yes it's funny and it's a fact too. Thinking of which, being single is/was the most precious time of life that is seriously "wasted". Well I am not talking about those who remain single by choice, or those who turned single again, but those singular years before you "get settled" as whatever way that is meant in our social context. The days when you are alone even while being "at home" or in a crowd, no matter how many girlfriends you have been dating.

Bachelor days are mostly aimless, definitely shameless, and also nameless. There is an unabashedness and an unassumingness about it which no other point of time in life can replicate or allow you to be perpetually into such a state, when you are stripped (literally) of everything and yet you feel so cool "hanging around", walking, yapping, sleeping, eating or boozing all together at the same time, or in no time, or all the time. You are not "expected to conform" which in a way is a big let off for most boys, as they are most comfortable if left alone like that. Yet there is a nagging vacuum or a sense of deprivation or unsettlement which keeps working in the back of the mind, that eventually gets "spent" on playboy magazines or porn videos.

For those who are preparing for CAT or GMAT or some other big thing in their lives, that sets their agenda going for a couple of years or more if they indeed get through, so that is a different story altogether. For the less ambitious or dare I say the more "grounded" ones (grounded simply because of the daily grind and nothing else!) who have to settle with some job somewhere to keep earning to pay off the debts or support their families, the challenges are of a different kind.

The disillusionment that sets in some months after the initial euphoria of getting the job, specially when you get to know someone close enough or staying with you has made it big somewhere else or got an admission in a University abroad or a US visa, can be quite sapping. A pall of gloom suddenly descends and one gets a feeling of being rounded up in a rathole while getting up to go back to the same workplace the next Monday morning when the hangover of the weekend settles down, and the midnight flight carrying the friend had already crossed most of the Arabian sea in its pursuit of a promised land, far away.

The future is, in reality, not as bleak as it would seem then. In fact the bachelor days offer you some of the very best times for you to go back to yourself and regroup to take stock of where you are and what all you would want to do in your life. You don't need to make a Bucket List for instance only when more than three-fourths of your legs are kicking the bucket! It can very well be made while carrying the bucket and standing in the line for the toilet in the mornings during your dorm days.

Even if it appears to be a silly dream, don't ignore it. Write it down. Toy with it. Stretch it to a wider canvas. Let some of those creative juices that flow in while fantasising on the bed with a Playboy playmate, help you develop those wild imaginations. It could be as simple a thing as learning a new foreign language, or writing a novel never to be published, or acquiring a different skill in an unknown area or chasing an odd passion hidden in the bottom of the heart which may apparently seem to be of no use at that time. Never mind, but deal with it. Invest in it with your time and energy, even if you may not have the money for it, for there is no dearth of both at that point of time in life which you may find it increasingly difficult to get as the years go by even when the bank balances swell and overflow!

It does not matter if the current reality is far far away from this conceptual framework you are trying to create in mind, for the future is not a grim ridge of impossibility from where you just fall off into a never ending gorge of despair, but always offers a great range of possibilities which is limited only by the scale of your imagination and the scope of your talent to realise it. So use this time to build those - imagination and talent and you never know when they will merge with a beautiful opportunity coming in your way to celebrate yet another victory, a new unknown territory of expertise, for in just the curiosity to know more and explore wider man has surpassed every barrier known to his previous generations while setting new standards in evolution.

Remember the one thing other than your bachelor friend that does not hesitate to come in breaking the doors, even if you don't want or invite, is entropy. Sadly it does not leave even after the friend leaves. So it is entirely upto you on how to deal with it. Booze does not necessarily wash it down through your system that you can piss yourself off with it. Instead it may turn around and piss you off even worse when you wake up! The only way to confuse the shit out of entropy is by bombarding it with a truckload of choices that you would want to pursue and challenge it to accompany you! Just let your imagination run wild to create those choices - for there is no tax levied (yet) for imagining.

Men try to get back to their bachelor days when they grow older. Just throw in a few cans of beer and old mates from college or workplace, and you will see them monkeying around again. It is sheer fun. But only for a few hours. Then we get back to our business. But for those who are indeed bachelors and spending their time in bachelorhood, life can't be just monkeying around as there are lot more things to do as well - without anyone else breathing down your neck. And for the bachelor fun, there are always Friday evenings, as this one today.

Have fun, drink big, and dream even bigger!

Why long distance relationships fail to work....

There is a reason why most of the long distance relationships do not work out eventually. It all starts with lots with promises. People go out of their way to ensure that nothing has changed. Phones become the dearest of all possessions. You live through the day waiting for your phone to ring and her name to appear on the phone. Yes, all the hype regarding seeing-their-name-and-heart-skipping-a-beat is actually true. Once you are on the phone, life becomes a formality dictated by the hands of the clock. Your friends start hating you for what you eventually become; a living piece of meat glued to a cell phone. You don’t hang out any longer and even if you do, people start assuming that you are dating a cell phone. A few around you will even go to the extent of saying that you are hallucinating by hanging out with your imaginary girlfriend. You still watch TV but it is switched on only to make sure that the guy in the adjacent room doesn't listen while you make love on the phone. Or love with the phone, whichever way it is. And that carries through the night till the early morning since it becomes the best time when no one notices you kissing your phone or saying those three words infinite number of times. Sleep, well, the less said the better. 

Crux of the matter is that you become distant with everything else but that one person who is probably suffering the same way you are. That works. Yeah, it indeed works; maybe for a month, maybe for a couple of months, maybe even longer . . . That works, yeah; only till the time you don’t get over it. Like getting bored and getting over it. It all starts with subtle cribbing. You will be out on the street and you will see young couples kissing and dating and you will go on thinking how unfortunate you two have been away from each other . . .  After a while, the libidos stop reacting to the kinky talks on the phone. You talk but you do not make love. Nah, not any more. You crib subtly. Then comes the longing to see each other in which thankfully, the video technology has helped. But it fades away too. You get tired of the faces against the same backgrounds with a bad video quality. Suddenly, you are out of strength to switch on even a laptop. After a while, you can’t just stay awake at night. And sometimes, even pass out while talking. That’s why I believe, sleep is a bitch for a relationship. You are in love, you talk but the monotony of the circumstances gradually changes your priorities.

I never thought it would happen to us. But it did . . . and it was heart wrenching.

He is a Playboy...

I often listen this phrase from girls who are in love with a guy who is a bit of Casanova..and the girl keep wondering if she should take the risk of being with him or not.?? Trust me girls, behind 90% of so called "playboys" there is often a broken heart, a lost love, incomplete desires and shattered dreams..

When a guy gets heartbroken, unlike a girl who cries with her teddy, boys tend to make them self mightier and devilish, they brace walls around their heart..b'cause believe it or not, boys do have a sensitive heart which is afraid of being played with..afraid of loving again..

If you fall for a playboy, care for him, love him with everything you have and moreover don't expect anything in return b'cause love is unconditional..believe me girls, if your love is real it will get through the walls he has enclosed himself within, and he will love you back with much more intensity..but you would have to risk it b'cause in the process of finding real "HIM" you might lose real "YOU"..you will endure many sufferings, you will get hurt but at the end it will be worth it.. b'cause its love at its purest and most spiritual form.."reduction of whole world in a single person and expansion of a single person to even god"that's "DEDICATION" that's "LOVE"...

Sometimes it's better to be alone...

Sometimes it's better to be alone than being with someone who makes you feel alone. Someone who doesn't return your love, someone who doesn't appreciate your effort, someone who takes you for granted, someone who sees no value in your care, someone who doesn't love you for who you are, someone who doesn't spare time for you, someone who always makes you cry, someone who always accuses you for being wrong...

If you are in a relationship with such a person, think of letting go no matter how painful it may be. Such people only care about their heart desires but they never mind of how you feel, what you need and what makes you happy...

Be strong and move on, that person was not meant to be the love of your life trust me. He or she is a time waster in your life; He or she will never change. That person’s happiness is when you fulfill what he or she wants but for them they will never mind about your heart pain. Think about it....

What a woman wants...

Some guys don't know how much those small things can make a girl happy. Many of the fellow guys out there think that buying expensive things, taking a girl to expensive hotels, buying her posh cars…are the ones that count a lot. But that is totally wrong. Small deeds mean a lot and they are memorable. If you don't have a big wallet, don't stress a lot. Don’t borrow a loan from a bank just because you want to show her that you are loaded; don’t borrow money from your friends and even clothes just because you want to be classic and stylish to her. JUST BE YOURSELF. 

Compliment her when she is smart; tell her that you like her new hair style, and talk about her smile... Don't over tell her that she is beautiful because sometimes ladies get used to it and it becomes boring and common. Use it once in a while, find other lines and say them in the right time. Surprise her with small gifts they will mean a lot to her, if you got no credit to call, just text her a good morning or a goodnight message it will imply that you think of her all the time, give her your time, listen to her when she is talking (be a good listener), Do some work or exercises with, if she is going for jogging go together. If it's a weekend and she is gonna be busy with the domestic work, do it together. If she is busy washing clothes make breakfast… Go for evening walks together, hold hands, have fun and always keep her smiling. These are small things but many men fail to fulfill them. They claim they have no time yet they had time to corn her and to take her on dates at the start. If you have done something wrong, accept it, don't be a coward or shy away. Just swallow your ego and say SORRY to her. As me  what I am sure of if she really loves you she will forgive you and she will shower you with her love and care. 

All in all if you really love your girl/wife give her much of your time, respect her and be faithful. God willing you will be the happiest man with her and your relationship will last forever... You may take these things for granted but that’s what a woman wants. She can be with a man who gives her everything, money… but if he doesn't give her freedom and much of his time all that mean nothing to her. That is why you see some ladies dumping guys of class, loaded with money and end up loving the poor guys because they know how to love. Think about it most especially YOU and put it in practice.

The worst regret...

The worst regret we have in life is not the wrong things we did, but for the thousands of the right things we did for the wrong people who ended up with breaking our delicate hearts. 

Friends, be slow in trusting someone. Some people come in our lives to pass time, to explore our bodies and hearts. People are not only after love, they have different missions, just that they blind us with some sweet care accompanied with a fake common word "I love you" to soft our hearts. When their mission is done, they change; they start to get so busy for us. They give us many excuses; they limit the calls, the texts, love and care hence breaking our hearts. And such people are determined, they can stick around with us even for a year and more before getting what they want. They can pretend, they can give us fake promises and some temporary care until they fulfill their goal.

Be CAREFUL. Not everyone who tells you that He/she LOVES YOU means it. Don't rush to give in your heart, take your time, Value your HEART and BODY.

Crossroads..which side are you in?

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. Afraid. Confused. Without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the fear of going it alone. And just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it’s only when you’re tested, that you truly discover who you are. And it’s only when you’re tested, that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist. Somewhere on the otherside of hard work, faith and belief … and beyond the fear of what lies ahead.

For those girls who say "ALL MEN ARE THE SAME"

Have you met all the guys in the world? No You Haven't.

There are guys out there, who care about you, are madly in love with you, will treat you right, but you're too pushing them into FRIEND ZONE. And when that one guy screws you over, you either blame love, or either you start believing that all guys are jerks. They're not.

Love doesn't walk away, people do. And so what if one jerk broke your heart, I PROMISE you that not every single guy will. Open your eyes,and realize that there are guys who want you but don't go after you before you're too busy chasing the bad boys. Or you expect to fall in love that way they do in movies, where it's love at first sight, or where the guy throws rose petals every where his girlfriend steps. That's not reality. He can't think about you 24/7, he can't open every door for you, hold your bag all the time, text you good night and good morning every day, he's not going to be perfect. And if you expect him to be perfect, then it's you who is not ready to be in a relationship.

So before you go on and say,"all guys are the same" just remember, that many people in the future will break your heart too but one day you'll find the guy who was worth all those heartbreaks. The guy who will treat you right, he might not throw rose petals everywhere you step, but he'll hold your hand and will be by your side through the hardest times.. 

Brave enough to say Good Bye...

"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo 

One of the biggest nuggets of wisdom that we have to learn to live a productive life is that saying goodbye is sometimes what we need so that we can say hello to opportunities in life that we otherwise would have missed. Sometimes we have to let go of people that are in our lives, and don't really make us happy. 

Sometimes we have to say goodbye to jobs that we know are obstructing us from seeing the life we really want to live become a reality. Sometimes we have to pick better foods that give us better nutrition and health so that we can support ourselves better than the traditional foods we eat on a daily basis. It takes being brave and embracing change in your, to bring the growth and success that you desire from the bottom of your heart. Be brave in your pursuits,all of them, even the exits...

Long distance relationships....

People say:- You’ve never even met them.- They could be cheating on you right now.- How can you love someone that you only see on tokbox or tinychat.- You’re not really sleeping with them, you’re sleeping on the phone with them.- “You’ll find someone better in your distance.”Well I think it’s cute if people can maintain a distant relationship without giving up because people say, “they’re cheating on you.” Thats how you know it’s a real relationship, especially because theres so much trust. To be honest, you don’t even have to see someone to love someone. If someone can make you laugh and feel butterflies through a camera, then it’s real love because that means that even through camera, phone, or sms, they could still love each other through all of that. ♥ :]

Closure...

This is for those who keep running back to the same person when you know you deserve better.When is it a necessity to depend on someone else for happiness? Why do you need the feel of a significant other to remind you that you’re loved? You are. Realize the good people that are in your life.

You keep complaining that he isn’t treating you right but you keep running back to him. You know you’re not happy when you’re crying constantly, arguing about how he is seeing someone else or just doesn’t want to be with you but you’re just taking it. There’s a certain quality about him that you just keep grasping on too. Along with that grasp is also a string of hope that he will change after all the complaining. But really is that one characteristic worth grasping on to compared to all those flaws? You are used to that certain “hurt” but you let the hurt continue because you’re not used to the idea of being “single”, “free”, “independent”. You’re afraid because your whole life, you’ve always been dependent. In reality we are settling for less when we know we deserve better.

We have to face the demons of being ‘alone’ in the face because it helps us grow. How can we love someone else, when we can’t even love ourselves? We have to sacrifice that intimacy/passionate part of our lives. In time someone will walk in your direction unexpectedly. It’ll hit you out of no where. But you can’t have just anyone walk into your life, you need someone that can treat you like the Queen that you are, because you deserve it. They’ll realize the mistake they made letting you go later in the future when YOU’RE finally happy with someone who loves you.

So, stop settling for less. You’re worth more then that.

Isn't that LIFE......????

Life changes every minute of every day. You lose friends. You gain friends. You realize yourfriend wasn’t ever really your friend, and that person you used to hate can make a reallygood friend. You look for love. You find love.You lose love. You realize all long that you’ve been loved. You laugh. You cry. You laugh so hard that you cry. You do this, you do that. You really wish you hadn’t done ...that. Youthen learn from that and are glad that you did. You have your ups. You have your downs. You see good movies. You see bad movies.You wonder if your life is just one big movie. You look at others and wish you were them. You then realize who they are and are gladthat you’re you. You love life. You hate life. In the end you just find yourself happy to be living life, no matter what’s thrown at you.....:)

Ponder on...evolve...

As human beings, we often chase hypothetical, static states of perfection. We do so when we are searching for the perfect house, job, friend, or lover. The problem, of course, is that perfection doesn’t exist in a static state. Because life is a continual journey, constantly evolving and changing. What is here today is not exactly the same tomorrow – that perfect house, job, friend, or lover will eventually fade to a state of imperfection. But with a little patience and an open mind, over time, that imperfect house evolves into a comfortable home. That imperfect job evolves into a rewarding career. That imperfect friend evolves into a steady shoulder to lean on. And that imperfect lover evolves into a reliable lifelong companion.

Theres always something or the other to regret..but.....

We all have things in our past we would rather not think about. Things we have experienced, mistakes we have made, people we have hurt.

Sometimes we regret the things we did do, and sometimes we regret the things we didn't do.

There are many wounds in life that don't quite heal, they always seem to be there just below the surface waiting for the right moment to remind us of their presence.

Regret, shame, and guilt, all stem from past experiences.

We carry those negative emotions around with us for months, and even years, dragging those negative feelings around like a rotting skeleton. Sometimes they are there for a reason, a part of our conscience, and a way of learning from past mistakes but they were never meant to be a permanent state of mind.

We all have circumstances in our lives that we wish we could go back and change, no doubt about it. Though most of us would dearly love to be perfect, imperfection is part of the human condition. We are going to make mistakes, sometimes BIG ones. Bad things are sometimes going to happen. We are always going to find things to regret.

Making peace with your past is making peace with yourself...

Mistakes...

If you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something. So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make new mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you're scared of doing, do it.

Cliche....

Most of the couples put their efforts in being different....In more precision ...they try to do away with cliche 's.But give it a thought and see if you agree...

Thousands words speech doesn't express the love as much as a simple but deeply felt 'I love you' does

Nothing redefines the relationship more than the first kiss

Try a hand at lilies..orchids and what not, still nothing says 'I love you' more than a single long stemmed rose..

Still the best idea for a date is cuddling during a movie...sharing popcorn, followed by a candle light dinner and then walking back under the star studded sky..

No other kind of wedding matches the thrill of a running away one..

When you start listening to the words unsaid is still the best way to solve the'i love you or i love you not' mystery..

Nothing is more romantic than a walk in the rain...

However over used this line maybe still its the single greatest promise one can make'We will stay together forever '...

Go out of your way...then again you will make her feel most special when you go down on one knee

Nothing says be mine more than a ring...

Still the most important question a guy will ever ask and the greatest words a girl will ever hear are "Will you marry me?"

If you want to do away with cliche`s you will have to do away with love story...

Live a love story live it the cliche` style...

They are cliche` not because they are old and overused...They are overused because the are more perfect than their alternatives...what say?? ;)

To all those who are 20 already...

20-26 is not that nice an age as we had imagined..Although ,you have the official permission to drink. Your frnds are getting married, your career has just started. Elders treat you as unproven theorems, people think you are always wrong even when you are right, You are too old for college but too young to be taken seriously. You seem to enjoy both cartoons and news. You can no longer eat whatever you wish without being conscious about putting on weight. Every aunty you meet asks 'Shaadi kab kar rahe ho beta' while uncle asks 'Aage ka kya socha hai beta'. You have all the confidence in the world but little achievements. You know that whatever you have been taught about the world in schools has been a sheer waste of time. You know now love is not that blind and that friendship sometimes has its terms & conditions. And you now realize that this age and part of life is not exactly what we thought it would be...! :-/